Coping with Holiday Stress
The hustle and bustle of the holiday season, often filled with joy and anticipation, can quickly turn dismal and dull. The stress of finding the perfect gift, last minute shopping, cooking, cleaning, the list goes on and on. Before you know it, you’re left frazzled. Cuyuna Regional Medical Center Behavioral Health Psychologist Kristin Furan, PsyD, has some tips to help you cope with holiday stress. “Typically, there are a mix of common complaints we hear during the holiday season ranging from exhaustion and lack of time to family feuds and limited funds for gift giving. It is possible to find peace in the chaos, while practicing self-compassion, and gratitude,” explained Furan.
So, what are the top 10 holiday complaints and how can you reframe the situation to find a positive?
I can’t get it all done.
- Slow down, pace yourself
- Make a list and plan ahead
- Prioritize activities
- Delegate responsibilities
I can’t afford this.
- Set a budget and stick to it; track expenses
- Draw names rather than buying gifts for everyone
- Consider a handmade gift like a baked good, ornament, recipe book, or photos
- Give the gift of time
This isn’t how I thought it would be.
- Set realistic expectations for the holidays
- Let go of perfection
- Discard “shoulds” and “musts
- Focus on what is important to you
I can’t stand being around some family members.
- Pick your battles
- Walk away or take a break
- Find another time to discuss differences, if needed
- Decline invitations from those who are truly abusive or unhealthy for you
I’m lonely.
- Volunteer, spend time giving to those in need
- Connect with others who may also be alone and plan a potluck
- Attend a community event or holiday concert
- Spend time with supportive and caring people
I dislike crowds.
- Take deep breaths
- Practice kindness
- Laugh, half-smile
- Accept realities of the season
I have too many parties.
- It’s ok to say no to some things
- Choose wisely
I’m exhausted.
- Don’t overindulge in eating or drinking, maintain healthy habits
- Get some exercise and be sure to get enough rest
- Be realistic about what you can and can’t do
- Make a pledge to have fun AND be health
I haven’t accomplished anything this year.
- Set realistic goals for yourself, look to the future with optimism
- Recognize the exception
- Live and enjoy the present
- Reevaluate unmet goals
It’s just too much.
- Talk to your doctor
- Meet with a mental health professional
- Seek support
- Seek help if you feel persistently sad, anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable, hopeless, or unable to complete routine activities
“More often than not, we don’t give ourselves enough credit or grace for how well we are coping with a stressful situation,” said Furan. Finding your place of harmony can mean reframing your negative thinking, practicing gratitude, shifting your response to stressors, or maintaining healthy boundaries. “One of the things we can each do is have self-compassion. That looks like being kind to ourselves, recognizing that we all make mistakes and want to be happy, and really being mindful and aware of what is, and accepting that.” Not only is self-compassion important, but so is compassion for others. “Send loving, kind wishes to a loved one, a stranger, someone who has helped you, and even someone with whom you are in conflict.”
For those who may have lost a loved one recently, the holidays can be even more challenging as they navigate a new normal. “Absolutely acknowledge your feelings. Take that time to cry. Don’t feel like you must bake, shop, entertain, or send cards if you’re not up to it. In fact, it’s okay to start a new holiday tradition if that feels right. Everyone will cope differently, and for those who may be wondering how they can help you, share with them what you need,” said Furan.
If you or a loved one are experiencing a mental health emergency, please contact one of the following resources immediately.
Crisis Line and Referral Service: 218-828-HELP (4357) or 800-462-5525
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: dial 988 or text Talk to 741741